Soothing News

Public relations is the greatest business. Like AIG, it permeates all facets of our lives — from the pernicious presidential campaign to the colossal collapses on Wall Street, or a combination thereof.

Isn’t it about time that we catch a break from all these anxiety-producing headlines? Sports certainly soothes. Wasn’t that Eagles-Cowboys game awesome last night?

For today’s post, rather than glom on to the gloom, I thought you would like to hear about another major piece of news – straight out of the news hole, so to speak.

The gentle folks at Georgia Pacific’s Innovation Institute in Neenah, Wisconsin have invented a three-ply toilet tissue. Could this be possible? Yes, it’s true! Under the Quilted Northern brand, the AP broke the news yesterday:

“The company touts the toilet tissue as ”ultra-soft” and says it plans to market the product to women 45 and older who view their bathroom as a ‘sanctuary for quality time.'”

Who knew?

I remember working on another innovation in toilet paper lore — the first to be infused with baking soda. I’ll let you guess the talking points. I think at the time we convinced the business reporter at ABC’s GMA to run some b-roll — no, not of the tissue in use — but rather it rolling off the assembly line.

As for the three-ply story, the AP wiped away any possible question that it produced a pure puff piece:

“Industry analyst Bill Schmitz is skeptical. He said extra layers make toilet paper stronger, not softer, although he said Georgia Pacific may have added extra fibers for softness.”

Some days I miss do-doing PR for consumer packaged goods…but mostly not.