Here is a five-step plan for mending a tainted reputation:
1) Find someone as famous as you for notoriously bad behavior
2) Go to a NYC strip club at 3AM, preferably one cited often in Page Six
3) Do shots of vodka and visit the ladies room with unusual frequency
4) Take lap dances at your table from silicone-endowed hostesses
5) Join your friend on “the pole” for a pied-a-deux to the delight of Scores of rabid Wall Street types
Top off the night by hurling an obscenity at the paparazzo who witnessed it all.
Continue to complain about how you’re (mis)quoted in Vanity Fair. Hey, Conde, how about another cover turn?