Bedtime Stories


Enough with the weddings. Let’s cut to today’s unsettling testimony of child actor Macauley Culkin at the Michael Jackson molestation trial. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT THE STAR OF “HOME ALONE” TO SAY? That the gloved one took off his gloves while the two coddled in Neverland? Of course he wouldn’t admit that he “inhaled” — even under oath. That would be a major career-ender.

Now here’s where it gets sticky (excuse the pun) from a PR sense, and where practitioners will likely diverge on strategy. Many would advise him to lie, lie and lie some more to salvage whatever hopes he has of landing another film role. Others might tell him to come clean (assuming the gloved one was true to form), and play the victim role. “I was left at Michael Jackson’s home alone.”

Is there a compromise here? I don’t think so. He did shockingly admit to sharing a bed with the gloved one — when he was 9 or 10(!) — which is incriminating in and of itself. At least, he can claim childhood innocence, unlike others caught with their pants down, e.g., Hilton, Grant, Love, Abdul, Lowe, Janet J…

What’s perverse about the celebrity culture in which we live is that today’s bizarre testimony may even help Culkin get back on track with his career. He certainly will get good TV time.